JOhn ws not trying to think it was a bunch of kung fu hoey, so... that's what he was thinking of. Like a white elephant.

He now thought of a white elephant. Focused on it, tried to channel it, breathe through his trunk, flap his ears, white elephant trunk brushing Setsuna's face searching for a peanut...

"Not unless you're feeling something playing with your hair."

He shook his head, blanked it, thought of white square on black background, and focused again. and everything became a chess board.

He sighed, eyes cloesd. "Little help?"

JOhn opened his eyes and looked sheepish.

"I was trying to not thinkg of the CHi thing as a load of hoey cuz I can't get it to work. So I stareted thinking about it cuz I was trying not to think about it, and that got me thinking about the white elephant thing, and I tried to focus on that and then it was searching your hair for peanuts. And this is why I shouldn't be allowed around sugar." facepalm.

"I want to get it, though. DO the Chi thing. Tired of being bitchsmacked around by everyone. I wanna do the bitchsmacking."

JOhn tries to picture that. That doesn't work.

He blanks his mind again. HIs mind pictured snow, like a TV turned to a bad channel, and a red dot in the snow, growing bigger, bigger, bigger. It blotted out the snow, engulfed him, and turned everything white. His breathing was slow.

"Okay, how do I know if I have it?"

John concentrated more, trying to make it stronger, bigger, faster, harder, protectier, and started doubting if it would ever work, that he'd always be a failure and it was just like with Ass Sensei where he'd never amount ot anything and never protect anyone and he felt a mixture of blue and red, like they were weaving.

because if John can tap into his Inner Emo, he can just Hadoken his enemies. kaaaaameeeeeehaaaaameeeeeehaaaaaaa!

"....I think so," he said, concentrating. "Is it supposed to feel like blue and red?"

"Or it could be that mine are all muddy." John pictured containing it, but it just seemed to cling to his limbs, with a bit at the center.

"I dunno. It... It just doesn't feel right."

He opened his eyes to ask her a question. "Okay, I think I'm doing it wrong," he said. He shook his head.

"Stupidass the Sensei said that it'd feel like a yellow ball. All those cheesy movies show it to be like orange or red or something, and they can toss it around. It... feels... like my skin, my muscles, almost. Not like something separate." He hangs his head. "I need practice. Maybe if I swing the sword a bit, it'll help."

"I dunno. It... It just doesn't feel right."

He opened his eyes to ask her a question. "Okay, I think I'm doing it wrong," he said. He shook his head. "What does it feel like when you do it?"

"So... it's like..." he's not even gonna say it.

"...........okay, that gives me a bit to go on, since I've heard it plays in with the whole, y'know, thing." he's silent. And his face is reddening.

"I don't really want to know, do I?"