Wayne (
howareyanow) wrote in
fandomhighdorms2019-05-27 07:09 am
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Third Floor Common Room; Monday Morning [05/17].
There was, that morning, a low, disgruntled humming sound emiting from deep within the throat of the young, broad-shouldered man stooping slightly to peer into the refrigerator that seemed to no longer hold any of the fine produce and ingredients that he had picked up for Monday morning breakfast anymore, but instead held a lot less and nothing that seemed particularly appetising.
Least of all because Wayne got this distinct feeling that things had changed again, and, really, now, if you were going to be a weird island with things like aliens and talking cats and dogs and magic and whatever the fuck else, it seemed that the least you could do was just stay the same type of weird for a while instead of going and mixing it up and giving everyone fucking whiplash all the time. It just seemed impolite; get your shit together, island. Clean it up.
The cabinets didn't seem to fare much better, though he did find a few bags of potatoes and an exorbitant amount of potatoes (not very good potatoes, really, they were some of the saddest potatoes he'd ever seen, but they'd do) and canned gravy in there.
And if a good old Canadian country boy like himself couldn't make do with potatoes and gravy (and some mystery meat, too), well, then, he might as well just turn in his citizenship right now, pack up, and move on out to El-Laaaay to go eat tah-cos and go hiking, fuck.
[[ /monday spam! Open common room is open, it's breakfast, it's tradition noooooow!]]
Least of all because Wayne got this distinct feeling that things had changed again, and, really, now, if you were going to be a weird island with things like aliens and talking cats and dogs and magic and whatever the fuck else, it seemed that the least you could do was just stay the same type of weird for a while instead of going and mixing it up and giving everyone fucking whiplash all the time. It just seemed impolite; get your shit together, island. Clean it up.
The cabinets didn't seem to fare much better, though he did find a few bags of potatoes and an exorbitant amount of potatoes (not very good potatoes, really, they were some of the saddest potatoes he'd ever seen, but they'd do) and canned gravy in there.
And if a good old Canadian country boy like himself couldn't make do with potatoes and gravy (and some mystery meat, too), well, then, he might as well just turn in his citizenship right now, pack up, and move on out to El-Laaaay to go eat tah-cos and go hiking, fuck.
[[ /monday spam! Open common room is open, it's breakfast, it's tradition noooooow!]]
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Vette blinked, and then broke into a little laugh.
"Besides delicious?"
This was a helpful reply, right?
"Big, big shaggy desert animal. People keep them as transport animals and for food, mostly."
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Especially since now he sort of wanted to try a little bantha for himself, wondering how one might prepare it, compared to steaks or chops or whatever else. Probably definitely on a grill. Everything was better on a grill.
"So...maybe a bit like a camel?" he wondered. "Just maybe hairier, though I think some camels can get pretty hairy, too..."
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"I... have no idea what a camel is," Vette admitted, smiling a little crookedly. "Maybe? Do people eat camels?"
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Wayne, who didn't much like to use his phone and used it in a way that made that very clear, still understood that his phone was a good resource for moments like this, pulled it out of his back pocket, and Google that shit so he could give Vette a better idea, turning it toward her to see once he felt he found a good picture.
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Look at those big squishy camel bellies!
"... But those don't look anything like bantha do. Those are closer to eopies, maybe, only eopies have little trunks." She considered for a moment, and then added, "Bantha are much more broad, all over. Maybe as tall as the ceiling in here, but they do have the four legs, and big curling horns?"
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"More like there?" he asked, turning the phone to show her another picture. "Only..." His eyes drifted up to the ceiling. "...bigger?"
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"Legs more like this?" he asked, showing another picture.
Look, he just really liked animals and putting together whatever monster hybrid animal existed in Vette's world was actually kind of fascinating for him.
He could do this all day until he got it right, really.
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"Oh, wow," she replied, nodding. "Make it even more shaggy than that, and you've got almost the perfect body shape, actually. Then you give it a big long tail that kinda drags like a lizard's, and a mouth sort of like a frog's."
Bantha!
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Apparently, there was a point in weird hybrid alien animals where Wayne drew a fucking line, letting out an offended sound before glowering a little.
"Jesus fuck," he wanted to know, "what the fuck was space-god smoking when he or she came up with that one?"
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Was she smirking? She was smirking.
"Maybe someday I'll be able to get home again, and I'll totally drag everyone to a zoo to prove I'm not completely nuts when I talk about these things."
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He remembered what you thought about skunks, there, Vette.
"And possums. Possums are North America's only marsupials, and those are immune to snake venom. THey could probably survive a nuclear blast. They have forked fuckin' penises. They're mutants."
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Who didn't love a good blurrg?
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"Do you suppose...." He ventured, then tilted his head. "You suppose maybe they've got real bad neck and back problems? If they're all head? You think there's a market out there, for a blurrg masseusse? Out there. In space?"
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