Wayne (
howareyanow) wrote in
fandomhighdorms2019-05-27 07:09 am
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Third Floor Common Room; Monday Morning [05/17].
There was, that morning, a low, disgruntled humming sound emiting from deep within the throat of the young, broad-shouldered man stooping slightly to peer into the refrigerator that seemed to no longer hold any of the fine produce and ingredients that he had picked up for Monday morning breakfast anymore, but instead held a lot less and nothing that seemed particularly appetising.
Least of all because Wayne got this distinct feeling that things had changed again, and, really, now, if you were going to be a weird island with things like aliens and talking cats and dogs and magic and whatever the fuck else, it seemed that the least you could do was just stay the same type of weird for a while instead of going and mixing it up and giving everyone fucking whiplash all the time. It just seemed impolite; get your shit together, island. Clean it up.
The cabinets didn't seem to fare much better, though he did find a few bags of potatoes and an exorbitant amount of potatoes (not very good potatoes, really, they were some of the saddest potatoes he'd ever seen, but they'd do) and canned gravy in there.
And if a good old Canadian country boy like himself couldn't make do with potatoes and gravy (and some mystery meat, too), well, then, he might as well just turn in his citizenship right now, pack up, and move on out to El-Laaaay to go eat tah-cos and go hiking, fuck.
[[ /monday spam! Open common room is open, it's breakfast, it's tradition noooooow!]]
Least of all because Wayne got this distinct feeling that things had changed again, and, really, now, if you were going to be a weird island with things like aliens and talking cats and dogs and magic and whatever the fuck else, it seemed that the least you could do was just stay the same type of weird for a while instead of going and mixing it up and giving everyone fucking whiplash all the time. It just seemed impolite; get your shit together, island. Clean it up.
The cabinets didn't seem to fare much better, though he did find a few bags of potatoes and an exorbitant amount of potatoes (not very good potatoes, really, they were some of the saddest potatoes he'd ever seen, but they'd do) and canned gravy in there.
And if a good old Canadian country boy like himself couldn't make do with potatoes and gravy (and some mystery meat, too), well, then, he might as well just turn in his citizenship right now, pack up, and move on out to El-Laaaay to go eat tah-cos and go hiking, fuck.
[[ /monday spam! Open common room is open, it's breakfast, it's tradition noooooow!]]
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"With gravy and..." Something cheese-like? "...cheese. Like poutine."
Or as near as he could get. He almost winced a little as he said it; it felt a little like a national disgrace, to try and pass that off as poutine, but it actually wasn't nearly as bad as he was making it out to be. It was just that...he was Wayne, and 'not that bad' was synonymous with 'not good enough.'
"Still haven't figured out just what the meat is, thouogh."
Which was saying a lot. Man prided himself in knowing his meats.
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Having more than one stomach kinda helped with that.
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With gravy. And mystery cheese.
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Because if all this was considered just a little messed up...
...and the whole idea that something might happen where he might not be able to still cook a mean potato was...unset'ling.
But he supposed he had to know.
"So's...." Wayne squinted, "so's this a thing that's just going to be expected 'round here, is it? Jus' things...changin'. Jus' 'cause? Jus'....fuck, I don't know, probably jus' to fuck with us, I suppose?"
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Vette had to find them and thump them, if not.
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And his grunt suggested that he really didn't want to have any of it right now, either, but he had asked. He dug this grave, might as well be buried in it.
While squinting off to some unknown horizon on the common room wall.
"There may have been....some things," he drawled lightly.
It was hard to get much in when he'd pretty much noped right out of the conversation when 'there was a talking dog' was followed up with 'I can turn into a dog!'
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"Yeah, there are things. This place plays fast and loose with the laws of spacetime. It's annoying."
There was an understatement.
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Totally a constant, yup!
"In the meantime, hey, there's potatoes and mystery meat," Vette noted. "Breakfast continues as usual, more or less."
She seemed to be enjoying it, for what it was worth?
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Brow furrowed, shoulders squared, chin lifted, like a man ready to face a mountain.
"It's the fuckin' most important meal of the fuckin' day, and if this place has a problem with breakfast, then it's got a problem with me, and I suggest you let that one marinate."
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And he'd seen plenty of stones, he sort of felt like an expert, there were lots of stones that needed picking out of fields...
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You'd think talking to an alien on the regular would help Wayne lose that face when mention thing like multiverse, but then you'd be wrong.
But while the face wasn't going anywhere, he could at least offer a fairly reasonable, "Oh, well, I'm sure rhey're out there somewhere, then," even if he didnt care to think about where.
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Wayne frowned, turning to Vette a little as he considered saying something, stopped, considered it again and then ventured, "Is that some kind of alien word for shit?"
Because the only excuse he'll allow for her saying a word like poodoo when there was a perfectly good word like shit was because it was an alien thing. Naturally, he could allow that, but even if you're trying to just be polite, there was nothing worse than giving an awkwardly cutesy name to something that had no right being cutesy.
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Vette paused.
"Uh. No?" She squinted a little. "It's the stuff they feed to banthas. It smells a little like shit, though...? I mean, I'd almost rather be full of crap, I think."
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"In a waaaaay," he said instead, squinting, "more often than not, you usually are." But that wasn't exactly polite to talk about. "So's I guess...I guess all I've got to ask now is...what in the ever-loving fuck is a bantha?"
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Vette blinked, and then broke into a little laugh.
"Besides delicious?"
This was a helpful reply, right?
"Big, big shaggy desert animal. People keep them as transport animals and for food, mostly."
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Especially since now he sort of wanted to try a little bantha for himself, wondering how one might prepare it, compared to steaks or chops or whatever else. Probably definitely on a grill. Everything was better on a grill.
"So...maybe a bit like a camel?" he wondered. "Just maybe hairier, though I think some camels can get pretty hairy, too..."
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"I... have no idea what a camel is," Vette admitted, smiling a little crookedly. "Maybe? Do people eat camels?"
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Wayne, who didn't much like to use his phone and used it in a way that made that very clear, still understood that his phone was a good resource for moments like this, pulled it out of his back pocket, and Google that shit so he could give Vette a better idea, turning it toward her to see once he felt he found a good picture.
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Look at those big squishy camel bellies!
"... But those don't look anything like bantha do. Those are closer to eopies, maybe, only eopies have little trunks." She considered for a moment, and then added, "Bantha are much more broad, all over. Maybe as tall as the ceiling in here, but they do have the four legs, and big curling horns?"
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"More like there?" he asked, turning the phone to show her another picture. "Only..." His eyes drifted up to the ceiling. "...bigger?"
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