Thus far, Wayne had actually managed to be be blissfully ignorant of any shenanigans going on with the island that particular weekend, as evidenced by the fact that he'd even bothered going outside instead of just hiding out in his room all day, organizing his plaids or something, just to avoid as many children as possible. He did not particularly care for kids, not even when he was a kid himself, so it was sheer ignornace that allowed him to leave himself exposed like this on an otherwise unsuspecting morning.

But it was also Easter, which meant he was missing out on the annual Easter egg hunt tradition back home, and his attempt to get into the spirit of it remotely was to go have his coffee and a morning dart outside on the deck, where he had a seat, lit his cigarette, took a few sips of coffee, and then settled in to keep an eye on his phone because Katy had promised to live-tweet the event for him so he didn't feel too left out.

They mentioned that Squirrel Dan's cousin Samuel offered to be Wayne's stand-in for the hunt, but Wayne wasn't going to be on board with that idea. He fucking hated Samuel. He fucking hated Samuel so much.

Samuel, it should be noted, was a seven-year-old.

[[ open deck is open! please torture Wayne with children. mwa ha ha ]]